My Guest Post and a Confession

Recently, my friend and fellow blogger, Kiran over at Masala Chica asked me to write a guest post.  Her blog is one of my favorites, and my reaction was immediate.  I’m there – when can I start?

There was no question in my mind what I wanted to write about, because I was burning to write my reaction to a discussion on mother’s having it all by PepsiCo CEO Indra Nooyi.  And Masala Chica was the place to voice it.  Kiran writes beautifully with stark honesty about her life and I wanted my honest response to be a part of that.

I have a confession to make.  I haven’t always been completely honest here about my life.  Her recent post News Flash: Spouses Change. Now What? really made me realize that.  She talks about the dilemma of divorce and sticking it out with your spouse, and ponders the judgments that others make of people who choose divorce.  Well, I’m standing up and announcing that, my intercultural marriage has not been as easy as I’ve sometimes made it sound.  Sometimes marriage really bites.

We’ve had gut-wrenching times over culture, family, kids, money – you name it, we’ve tackled it.  We’ve both changed over the years, and frankly not liked each other very much at times.  But, somehow, we always choose to rediscover the good stuff and consciously choose each other over and over.  I love my husband intensely, and already mourn the day when one of us has to live without the other.  But, it is our choice to do this for each other and our family, and I don’t judge or begrudge the right for anyone choose divorce.

I wonder sometimes, if some people give up too easily though.  If we had given up during the bad times, where would we be?  I really want to know what others think about divorce and, maybe even staying in a marriage just for the kids’ or family’s sake. 

So, I invite you to share your thoughts here.  Do you think marriage is worth staying in when it’s really, really hard, or do you think that we only live once and we should be as happy as we can every moment of our lives?

Please share…

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3 thoughts on “My Guest Post and a Confession

  1. Marriage is absolutely hard because oftentimes two people are growing separately and at different paces. Also one must always make the effort for the relationship as a whole – there is a quote: “Remember that children, marriages and gardens reflect the kind of care they get”.
    That being said, I do not believe in divorce. I’m kind of more Indian in that way ;P
    I think love is worth fighting for a worth getting through all the struggles. There are always bumps in the road – major and minor. There is always couples therapy if the couple is willing, and even time apart as well.
    However, both partners need to be willing to work through the struggles together, and need to be committed to the marriage. If they are not, there is no point in being married. Not everyone takes marriage seriously enough.

  2. Frankly, I don’t have an opinion on this because marriage is a very subjective state of mind. You’re either enjoying it, working on it or done with it. Often many of us alternate between the first two. When your heart keeps voicing out the third as your state of mind, all I can say is that it is time to do some real, hard thinking.

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